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After decades of preaching, teaching, and counseling, influential Christian leader A.R. Bernard reveals the four qualities women want in a man—qualities that contribute to a satisfying and happy relationship.

As a longtime pastor of a big-city church, A.R. Bernard has witnessed couples in every stage of life. He’s been with them as they experienced dizzying joys, unspeakable tragedies, and everything in between.

As men and women have come to Bernard for spiritual counseling and advice, he’s learned patterns of behavior that are repeated time and again. After almost four decades of preaching, teaching, and counseling, he’s seen that while every situation is unique, people’s behaviors and consequences are amazingly consistent. With this in mind, Bernard has developed a simple system for understanding how couples relate to each other.

Maturity, decisiveness, consistency, and strength—these are the four things women want and need most from a man. In his book, Bernard teaches readers how to identify and cultivate these traits toward a happy and long-lasting relationship—one built to weather any storm.

Review

"Our friend A. R. Bernard [has] unveiled what women really want from men! An eye-opening, practical must-read." -- Bishop and Mrs. Dale C. Bronner, Atlanta

“The truths of this book… have the power to heal, transform, and revolutionize any relationship.”
-- John and Lisa Carter, Syracuse NY

"A.R. Bernard has been a major influence in our lives...[helping us reach] a higher level in our relationship and spiritual growth." -- Denzel and Pauletta Washington

About the Author

A.R. Bernard is the spiritual leader of the New York Christian Cultural Center in Brooklyn, which, in addition to serving its members, conducts aggressive outreach programs in the community, including several schools for inner-city children, literary groups, and special ministries for the elderly and incarcerated. Bernard serves on the board of directors of the Brooklyn Public Library and the New York City Economic Development Corporation. His sermons are broadcast nationally on television and radio. He also lectures frequently at universities, churches, and Fortune 500 companies. He lives in New York with his wife, Karen, and their children.

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4.7 out of 54.7 out of 5
898 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Anita Stoudmire
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Awesome book! A must read.
Reviewed in the United States on October 23, 2017
This book has the potential to change the entire landscape for the black family! If we can get this book into the nads of every black man AND get them to read and study it together, it will change our community as we know it. The information inside is Biblically sound and... See more
This book has the potential to change the entire landscape for the black family! If we can get this book into the nads of every black man AND get them to read and study it together, it will change our community as we know it. The information inside is Biblically sound and relies heavily on the men in the family to take full responsibility for themselves and their wives and families. This is where the real work begins! It was an easy read and so informative. I would definitely recommend this as required reading for black men in churches, schools, prisons, anywhere you can get it to them. I was very impressed with A.R. Bernard''s transparency into his own 45 year marriage.
18 people found this helpful
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The Rebecca ReviewTop Contributor: Jigsaw Puzzles
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
True Masculinity – A Challenge for Men and the Woman Who Love Them!
Reviewed in the United States on July 16, 2021
Insightful, honest and direct – A.R. Bernard knows how men and women think and what they are looking for in a mate. Due to counseling members of his congregation in Brooklyn, he''s seen every type of marital situation and has learned what it takes to have a happy... See more
Insightful, honest and direct – A.R. Bernard knows how men and women think and what they are looking for in a mate. Due to counseling members of his congregation in Brooklyn, he''s seen every type of marital situation and has learned what it takes to have a happy relationship. He also knows what to avoid if you don''t want to be miserable.

Some of the questions this book answers include:

Why are couples today often focused on the wrong thing?
What is the true cause of the high divorce rate?
What qualities does a mature man exhibit?
Why is decision making so important to the outcome of your life?

Women reading this book will know what they are truly looking for in a man and men will know what to strive for to make a woman secure and happy.

This book is humbling even for a woman to read. A.R. Bernard sets the highest standard for true masculinity. It will leave you speechless and in deep contemplation for hours.

~The Rebecca Review
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Marpay
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Great book for all💕
Reviewed in the United States on February 3, 2019
I seen the interview on Super Soulfood Sunday & I had to purchased this for my son & daughter-in law🎉🎉! GREAT PRINCIPLES TO LIVE BY...I agree wholeheartedly🙏🏾💕! When people hear it from their Mom, it might not always stick bc they’ve heard you say it all... See more
I seen the interview on Super Soulfood Sunday & I had to purchased this for my son & daughter-in law🎉🎉! GREAT PRINCIPLES TO LIVE BY...I agree wholeheartedly🙏🏾💕!

When people hear it from their Mom, it might not always stick bc they’ve heard you say it all their lives, but when someone else is saying the same thing, it’s an eye opener😂💕! I’ll take it anyway I can...GREAT LIFE LESSONS is my motto🙏🏾💕🙏🏾!

I received this book in a timely manner & I was happy to share it with the newlyweds💙
5 people found this helpful
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TamTam
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Very thought provoking
Reviewed in the United States on July 7, 2016
I rated this book a 5 star because it''s very helpful, and Biblically and prayer based with examples of not just how men should live but also women by the principles that are instructed by God. The book is written from a perspective that throughout history our outlook and... See more
I rated this book a 5 star because it''s very helpful, and Biblically and prayer based with examples of not just how men should live but also women by the principles that are instructed by God. The book is written from a perspective that throughout history our outlook and views about marriage may change, but we must rely on God''s word that is always true and never changes no matter the times.
15 people found this helpful
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FG
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Must Read
Reviewed in the United States on September 13, 2016
This is my pastor and I love hearing him on Sundays. I was very curious about this book because it''s been promised to us for awhile. My wait was not in vain. It''s concise, not preachy. I like the fact that anyone can pick this up, read it and apply all or some of the... See more
This is my pastor and I love hearing him on Sundays. I was very curious about this book because it''s been promised to us for awhile. My wait was not in vain. It''s concise, not preachy. I like the fact that anyone can pick this up, read it and apply all or some of the principles to your life immediately or a little later. I also like the fact that as you''re this it will make you think and before you realize you''re finished with the book. It''s also not a book that will be read once and put down. It''s a good reference periodically and the best part, you''ll soon realize that the principles apply to so many areas in your life also.
7 people found this helpful
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Denise
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
This book is a great addition to the library of any man or woman
Reviewed in the United States on July 7, 2016
This book is a great addition to the library of any man or woman. It discusses clearly and concisely the desires of both men and women - exposing that we are likely looking for the same thing however the manifestation of each by gender vary... great book. I would... See more
This book is a great addition to the library of any man or woman. It discusses clearly and concisely the desires of both men and women - exposing that we are likely looking for the same thing however the manifestation of each by gender vary... great book. I would recommend it to single, married, or those considering marriage in the future. I even purchased it for a friend that wanted to consider dating towards marriage... I had some reservations but this book helped me to get clear about my reservations. Although he is a great guy, he is not the one for me at this time. Thanks Dr. Bernard!
13 people found this helpful
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Amazon Customer
4.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
This book is motivating and easy to read
Reviewed in the United States on August 29, 2016
This book is motivating and easy to read, the values within are important to living a life of happiness and workability. Among todays distractions these values are easily lost so it''s up to each of us to instill them then recreate them again within ourselves. If your lucky... See more
This book is motivating and easy to read, the values within are important to living a life of happiness and workability. Among todays distractions these values are easily lost so it''s up to each of us to instill them then recreate them again within ourselves. If your lucky enough to be parents then this book is a must. Values and principles (unlike standards and goals) should be taught and reinforced at home long before children become saturated with todays distractions.
5 people found this helpful
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MarcieH
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Excellent book
Reviewed in the United States on August 7, 2017
This book should be required reading for every young person regardless of religious affiliation. It removes all the doubts and fears of what adulthood is. It clearly and truly explains how a real man behaves. The advice is practical and not "preachy". The prose flows so... See more
This book should be required reading for every young person regardless of religious affiliation. It removes all the doubts and fears of what adulthood is. It clearly and truly explains how a real man behaves. The advice is practical and not "preachy". The prose flows so well that one may find oneself inclined to complete in one sitting.
4 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

Mrs P A Akwaboah
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Must read!!!!!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 8, 2017
This book is so educative and has taught me so much about men and women in relationships. I could see where I have been going wrong and I could relate to the scenarios given in the book!!!! Wish I had got hold of it sooner. I will now apply these principles in my...See more
This book is so educative and has taught me so much about men and women in relationships. I could see where I have been going wrong and I could relate to the scenarios given in the book!!!! Wish I had got hold of it sooner. I will now apply these principles in my forthcoming relationship. This is a must read if you desire to prosper, have a beautiful, successful and committed long lasting relationship/marriage. I’m going to recommend the book to my friends. Thank you Pastor Bernard :-)
One person found this helpful
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C.E
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
An Excellent Book ...!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 10, 2021
Brilliantly written....Easily one of the most insightful books on how to be a ‘real man’. Would highly recommend it to any man that wants to be a godly man, husband and father.
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Kings Daughter
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Wonderful and Truthful
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 8, 2021
Absolutely stellar content and helped and blessed me hugely!
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Ope
4.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Just what I needed
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 22, 2018
I read a lot of books but this one in particular has given me a mantra to say back to myself. I really enjoy Pastor A.R Bernard’s teachings and this book was not disappointing.
One person found this helpful
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Five Stars
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 19, 2018
Excellent read.
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